party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
