i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
