Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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