On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
