he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
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When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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