Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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