Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
