He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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