we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
