your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This toilet bowl is my home.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
