I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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