Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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