Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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