Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
