so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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