This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
