Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
