just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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