and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
