My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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