I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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