where am i from again
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
