So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
