some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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