i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
