After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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