I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
