I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
