Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
