i barfeds in our rink
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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