just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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