you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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