But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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