so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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