Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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