No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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