R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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