fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
