Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
