what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
