So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Damn victory sex feels great
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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