TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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