we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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