Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
