If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
