I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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