Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Operation Purity has been aborted
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
