last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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