it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
this will be a night to untag.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
