why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
