I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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