You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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