I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
