He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
