My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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