Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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