He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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