I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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