man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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