i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
