billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
