Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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