i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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