A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
